Chapter 34: The Amazing Shrinking Professor!
Wendell couldn’t sleep at all. He paced around his bedroom, practicing his speech over and over again. Tomorrow afternoon he would present a research paper on an amazing compound guaranteed to revolutionize the world and cement his reputation as the greatest scientist ever.
“For centuries people have searched for the Fountain of Youth, but now the search is over,” he said. He ran the line through his mind time and time again with emphasis on different words until it sounded perfect.
Everything had to be perfect. Scientists, professors, and dignitaries from all over the world would be in attendance. All to see a thirteen-year-old-boy who had discovered the secret to immortality. He picked up a tube of glowing white liquid, the key to eternal youth. No one would ever have to grow old again.
The tube rattled in his hand and from the room next door came the squeak of bedsprings followed by a roar like that of a jet engine. Prudence must have rolled over in bed. He had warned Mom to keep his sister home today so she couldn’t embarrass him during the presentation. He shuddered at the thought of her shambling into the auditorium in that hideous turquoise maternity gown of hers, her chubby face stained with chocolate and a bag of chips clutched in her pudgy hands. Then in the middle of his presentation she would fall asleep, the vibrations from her snoring bringing the roof down upon him.
He continued practicing his speech and pacing the bedroom, his thoughts drowning out Prudence’s snoring. At dawn his alarm rang, but he still had not gone to bed. “Wendell, it’s almost time for school,” Mom called.
“I know Mom. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He hid the vial of liquid under a towel before he went to shower in case Prudence waddled in here looking for something to drink. Of course if she did he would have a good demonstration for the start of his presentation.
After showering, he trimmed his beard to look presentable for his speech. He practiced smiling in front of the mirror, everything from a smirk to a broad grin until he found one in-between that felt comfortable. “Pleased to meet you, Doctor,” he said, holding out his hand. He should have asked Mom or Prudence to help him practice his grips. He didn’t want to crush their hands or feel like a limp fish in their grasp.
He went back into the bedroom and heard Prudence still snoring next door. Good. He could get out of here before she rolled out of bed and oozed downstairs to scarf down a box of waffles for breakfast. He took his best suit out of the closet along with a shirt and tie. The shirt and suit jacket felt too snug around his shoulders and upper arms. He should have asked Mom to get him some new clothes before the biggest moment of his life. It’ll have to do, he thought. Soon he would be famous enough to have a closet of suits custom-made.
“Oh, you look so handsome,” Mom said when he came down the stairs. She tried to kiss him on the forehead, but he ducked under her embrace.
“Mom, don’t,” he said. He couldn’t show up at the auditorium with her lipstick on his forehead.
“I’m sorry, honey. I made you some breakfast.”
Wendell looked at the plate of eggs on the table, his stomach churning. He couldn’t get a bite down right now if he tried. “I don’t have time. Sam’s dad is going to be here any minute. I’ll get something at school.”
A car honked outside as if on cue. Wendell kissed Mom on the cheek before running out the door to Mr. Young’s beat-up car. Samantha sat in the backseat, so tiny her feet didn’t touch the floor. Despite being the same age as Wendell, Samantha was often mistaken for a little girl of six or seven. She still had a child’s taste in clothes, today wearing a pink dress lined with lace and a matching bow in her hair that made her look three years old. Only the pimples on her dark cheeks gave any clue to her real age. “Hi there,” she said. “Do you think I’m overdressed for today? Daddy said the bow was a bit much, but I think it’s cute.”
“It’s very cute,” Wendell said.
“See, Daddy, I told you so.” She stuck her tongue out at Mr. Young as he backed the car out of the driveway. “Are you ready for today? I’m so nervous I can hardly stand it.”
Samantha chattered more than usual when she was nervous. She had ever since he first met her in first grade. He found the sound of her voice in these situations soothing. He could close his eyes and listen to her childish prattling forever. Soon he would be able to; once he became a rich and famous scientist he would finally accept her overtures to make their friendship into something more. To demonstrate this, he reached across the seat to squeeze her tiny hand. Her face turned red and her eyes welled up with tears. “Oh Wendell,” she said.
They didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride to school, but when Mr. Young finally stopped the car, Wendell kissed Samantha’s cheek. “I’ll see you later,” he said.
The first half of the day was torture. He kept his eyes fixed on the clock, each second feeling like an eternity. In math class, Mrs. Milton chided him for not paying attention. Finally the bell rang for lunch and he hurried to the auditorium to prepare for the presentation.
Samantha was already there, no more than a pink dot in the back row. She waved to him and he waved back, but he didn’t want to say anything to her until he finished the presentation. Then they would have all the time in the world to talk.
The principal opened the doors a few minutes later to begin showing the guests in. Wendell stood behind the curtain backstage, watching distinguished scientists, professors, and business leaders file into the
Someone tapped his shoulder and he spun around to find Samantha there. She had to get on her tiptoes to reach his lips. “Don’t worry, you’ll be great,” she said. The knots in his stomach untied at the touch of her lips against his.
“I love you,” he said. He kissed her this time, lifting her off the ground. He could have remained like that forever, but the principal introduced him and the audience began to applaud. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be waiting,” she said.
Wendell wiped at his mouth to get off any lipstick and then straightened his tie. He pushed back the curtain and strode up to the podium. The applause died out, leaving dozens of world-renowned eyes staring at him, waiting for him to tell them of his discovery. “Ladies and gentlemen, for centuries people have been searching for the Fountain of Youth—” His voice cracked on the last word. He cleared his throat, but when he continued, his voice sounded at least two octaves higher than before. “But now the search is over.”
He cleared his throat again and then reached over for a glass of water. He stopped to hold up long, slender fingers, each nail painted a glossy pink. The audience started to murmur amongst themselves as if trying to decide if this were part of the act. “I’m sorry,” Wendell squeaked. “Let me start over.”
Sweat dripped into his eyes, blurring his vision. He reached up with one hand to wipe the sweat away only to find hair falling down to the small of his back. His chest started to tighten and he watched in horror as a pair of breasts pressed against his shirt until the buttons threatened to burst—
“That’s quite enough, Miss Palmer,” an old woman said.
Wendell opened his eyes to find himself standing at the head of a classroom full of girls in matching plaid jumpers. “Take your seat, young lady. We’ll discuss this later.” Miss Palmer? Young lady? “Can you hear me, Miss Palmer? I asked you to sit down.”
Wendell turned to her and then looked down to find himself wearing a plaid jumper, white blouse, and white knee socks like the other girls. Thinking back to the nightmare in the auditorium, he held up slender hands with pink fingernails and then reached back to touch hair falling to the small of his back. “I’m a girl,” he said. The other girls snickered.
“Now that you’ve figured this out, please take your seat,” the old woman said. She got up from her desk and took Wendell by the shoulders. “Do you need to see the nurse?”
He ran from the classroom to the delight of the other girls. He sped down the hallway until he found a bathroom and locked the door behind him. He turned to the mirror to see a girl with long red hair facing him. This can’t be happening, he thought. It has to be a nightmare! Any moment I’ll wake up.
He closed and then opened his eyes, but in the mirror still found a girl’s face looking back at him. As he watched, she shrank, freckles dotting her cheeks. No, this isn’t me, he thought. I’m not a girl.
“Poor little Wendy,” Samantha’s voice said. Wendell spun around, but didn’t see anyone. “What’s the matter, Wendy, don’t you like what you see?”
“What are you doing to me?” Wendell said.
“I’m showing you the truth.” In the mirror, the girl’s hair wove itself into braids even as the rest of her shrunk another inch. “This is what you truly are.” Samantha materialized behind Wendell, only now she loomed over him.
“Stop this,” Wendell said. The girl continued to shrink, dimples forming at the corners of her lips. “Change me back!”
“I’m afraid not,” Samantha said. She produced a vial of glowing liquid from behind her back. “It’s time to put this baby to bed.”
“No!” Wendell shouted. He scampered past her on shrinking legs, the jumper hanging now down to his ankles. Outside, in the hallway, he found the class waiting for him.
“No running, young lady,” the old woman said. She grabbed Wendell by a braid and started to drag him towards the classroom. He looked behind him to see Samantha approaching with the vial in her hand. “It’s time you learn how to behave like a proper little girl.”
“I’m not a girl!” he screamed. He tried to fight her grasp, but couldn’t free himself. Then his body shrank again, the jumper replaced by a frilly pink dress. Samantha’s dress. He reached up to touch a bow in his hair. The old woman lost hold of him as the braid unfurled, allowing him to take off running down the hall, the laughter of the girls echoing in his mind. When he looked behind, the girls had disappeared, but Samantha continued her slow advance, gesturing with the vial.
“Time to die, Wendy,” she said. He ran.
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